Nothing like the monsters of Sci Fi horrors, though it is a horror of sorts,
Nothing like the helpful servants of Asimov's tales, though it tries to help.
Malaysia's robot is in a class of idiotic-horror all its own.
I could not do better than the writeup by Kenny Sia in his own blog.
go here
http://www.kennysia.com/archives/2006/01/made-in-malaysi.php
And thanks to Kenny for telling it as it is.!!
Friday 27 January 2006
Verbal Diarrhoea
This is part of an online chat I had one late night in the office just before Christmas 2005. Probably not as funny in retrospect as it was when I was typing, but some people might enjoy the word-play.... I must have been pumped full of caffeine that night.
...him: project plans to write
me....: did you see the note i sent ?
...him: status updates to give
...him: solutions to solve
...him: patches to download
...him: material to study
...him: today?
me....: :) you are soooooooooooo productive.
yes, i sent it just while ago
...him: oh.. lemme replicate
me....: cogitate, ruminate, replicate, abdicate
...him: coagulate
me....: fumigate, surrogate, expectorate
...him: agitate
...him: watergate
...him: oh yea. merry christmas!
me....: castigate, masturbate, vacillate, interrogate
me....: dont forget the vodka
...him: vodka cake!
...him: hmm.. vodka I have
me....: cake you can make
me....: vacillate, fluctuate, oscillate
...him: obfuscate
...him: the delicate
me....: escalate, marinate, urinate
...him: did u eat a dictionary or something?
me....: ?
me....: oh
me....: i am compensating for my constipation of ideas
with a diarrhoea of words
...him: diarrhoea of the mouth you have
...him: slow to download big big stuff
me....: what big stuff ?
...him: code and patches
...him: benson and hedges
...him: starsky and hutch
...him: wallace and gromit
...him: bonnie and clyde
me....: nescafe and coffee-mate
...him: samson and delilah
...him: thomas and guy?
me....: thomas and guyS
me....: cock and bull
me....: tooth and nail
me....: pooh and piglet
me....: tea and empathy
me....: coffee and doughnuts
me....: nuts and bolts
...him: this and that
...him: here and there
me....: rogers and hammerstein
me....: gilbert and sullivan
me....: princess and pea
me....: beer and pee
...him: short and sweet
...him: simple and nice
me....: short and curly
...him: tortoise and hare
me....: hare today, gnome tomorrow
me....: heading3, type in date of completion,
enter name of person completing checklist
me....: walter and gromit
...him: dead and buried
...him: heaven and earth
...him: heaven and hell
me....: hell and health checks
...him: blood and guts
...him: sweat and tears
...him: something and glory
...him: teach yourself shell programming in 24 hrs..
...him: hmm.. something I needed a long time ago
...him: money and you
me....: my left hand is cramping...
And it goes downhill from there.... Feedback please - are we really weird, or do other people have online chats remotely like this?
...him: project plans to write
me....: did you see the note i sent ?
...him: status updates to give
...him: solutions to solve
...him: patches to download
...him: material to study
...him: today?
me....: :) you are soooooooooooo productive.
yes, i sent it just while ago
...him: oh.. lemme replicate
me....: cogitate, ruminate, replicate, abdicate
...him: coagulate
me....: fumigate, surrogate, expectorate
...him: agitate
...him: watergate
...him: oh yea. merry christmas!
me....: castigate, masturbate, vacillate, interrogate
me....: dont forget the vodka
...him: vodka cake!
...him: hmm.. vodka I have
me....: cake you can make
me....: vacillate, fluctuate, oscillate
...him: obfuscate
...him: the delicate
me....: escalate, marinate, urinate
...him: did u eat a dictionary or something?
me....: ?
me....: oh
me....: i am compensating for my constipation of ideas
with a diarrhoea of words
...him: diarrhoea of the mouth you have
...him: slow to download big big stuff
me....: what big stuff ?
...him: code and patches
...him: benson and hedges
...him: starsky and hutch
...him: wallace and gromit
...him: bonnie and clyde
me....: nescafe and coffee-mate
...him: samson and delilah
...him: thomas and guy?
me....: thomas and guyS
me....: cock and bull
me....: tooth and nail
me....: pooh and piglet
me....: tea and empathy
me....: coffee and doughnuts
me....: nuts and bolts
...him: this and that
...him: here and there
me....: rogers and hammerstein
me....: gilbert and sullivan
me....: princess and pea
me....: beer and pee
...him: short and sweet
...him: simple and nice
me....: short and curly
...him: tortoise and hare
me....: hare today, gnome tomorrow
me....: heading3, type in date of completion,
enter name of person completing checklist
me....: walter and gromit
...him: dead and buried
...him: heaven and earth
...him: heaven and hell
me....: hell and health checks
...him: blood and guts
...him: sweat and tears
...him: something and glory
...him: teach yourself shell programming in 24 hrs..
...him: hmm.. something I needed a long time ago
...him: money and you
me....: my left hand is cramping...
And it goes downhill from there.... Feedback please - are we really weird, or do other people have online chats remotely like this?
Wednesday 25 January 2006
Silly Notices
#1 on 20060125. Except for the {company name}, the message below is verbatim from a notice a friend showed me. This notice was issued by his companies' General Counsel to be installed in all computer systems:
"This is {company name} computer system that is FOR OFFICIAL USE ONLY. This system is subject to monitoring. Therefore, no expectation of privacy is to be assumed. Individuals found performing unauthorized activities are subject to disciplinary action including criminal prosecution"
They really should get someone who speaks English as a first language to work on that 1st sentance....
#2 on 20060208. This is the citation (again, verbatim) for the winner of a customer satisfaction survey:
He derives satisfaction by ensuring his clients requirements are contented. He's professional, courteous and quick to help. His skills are sharp and without prompting, he keeps them honed to a razor's edge.
He is a team player who is always willing to go the extra mile to manage his clients. He meticulously ensures every difficult situation seems easy to resolve.
Now how would I get my requirements to be contented?
"This is
They really should get someone who speaks English as a first language to work on that 1st sentance....
#2 on 20060208. This is the citation (again, verbatim) for the winner of a customer satisfaction survey:
He derives satisfaction by ensuring his clients requirements are contented. He's professional, courteous and quick to help. His skills are sharp and without prompting, he keeps them honed to a razor's edge.
He is a team player who is always willing to go the extra mile to manage his clients. He meticulously ensures every difficult situation seems easy to resolve.
Now how would I get my requirements to be contented?
Saturday 21 January 2006
Inauguration
An so it begins.
It has taken near to 2 months of hemming and hawing, and days of trying different names, and finally after a ridiculously long time to decide on whether I would blog, and if I did what I would call my blog, I commit to posterity this snippet from a line that perhaps has formed one of the major foundations of my development.
It is spoken by the Fox to The Little Prince after the Little Prince discovers why his rose is NOT like a million other roses in all the gardens of the world:
"And now, here's my secret. It is very simple. It is only with the heart that one can see clearly. What is essential is invisible to the eye."
The book is:The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (translator to English not noted, I am afraid)
And so this blog, this repository of my thoughts, begins on similar foundation as I myself did. See clearly - what is essential is invisible to the eye.
It has taken near to 2 months of hemming and hawing, and days of trying different names, and finally after a ridiculously long time to decide on whether I would blog, and if I did what I would call my blog, I commit to posterity this snippet from a line that perhaps has formed one of the major foundations of my development.
It is spoken by the Fox to The Little Prince after the Little Prince discovers why his rose is NOT like a million other roses in all the gardens of the world:
"And now, here's my secret. It is very simple. It is only with the heart that one can see clearly. What is essential is invisible to the eye."
The book is:The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (translator to English not noted, I am afraid)
And so this blog, this repository of my thoughts, begins on similar foundation as I myself did. See clearly - what is essential is invisible to the eye.
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