Overheard in a shopping mall:
"Dear, shall we get one of those?" he says, pointing to a humongous 50-inch LCD TV on Special Discount.
"Yeah, right. And we will have to sit in the Tan's front porch across the road to watch CSI." Said the wife. "Why dont we get this one?" She said, pointing to a 26-incher.
He pouted like an M.P. forced to apologise for making a sexist remark [1] [2] in Parliament: "If we wanted something that size, we might as well buy a regular TV" he said;
"You can't call it conspicuous consumption if it isn't conspicuous enough....."
For those who are interested, I found this LCD TV buying guide, and heres how to buy an LCD TV in 8 easy steps.
Monday 25 June 2007
Tuesday 19 June 2007
The Heavenly Clocks
An Indian man died and went to heaven. When he arrived at Heaven's Gate, The Lord Siva said, "Come on in. I'll show you around. You'll like it here."
Walking through the gates, the man noticed clocks everywhere!!
There were grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and table clocks in every corner.
It appeared that heaven was nothing more than a giant warehouse of clocks.
Surprised at how heaven looked, the man asked,
"My Lord Siva, what's the deal? Why are all these clocks here in heaven?"
The Lord Siva replied,
"The clocks keep track of things on earth. There is one clock for each person. Every time the person on earth tells a lie, his clock moves one minute. For instance, this clock is for Aru, the used car salesman. If you watch it closely, it will move."
"Click" The minute hand on Aru's clock moved one minute. "Click" It moved another minute.
"Aru must be closing a deal with a customer right now." said The Lord Siva. "The minute hand on his clock moves all day."
The man and The Lord Siva continued walking. Soon, they came to a clock with cobwebs on the minute hand.
"Whose clock is this?" asked the man.
"That clock belongs to the Widow Achi. She is one of the finest, God-fearing, people on earth. Her clock hasn't moved in years." said The Lord Siva.
They continued walking and touring heaven. The man enjoyed watching the clocks of all his friends. When the tour was finished, the man said,
"I've seen everyone's clock but Mr. Samy Vellu's. Where is his clock?"
The Lord Siva smiled, "Just look up. We use his clock as a ceiling fan."
(This is an old joke, and has been used with the names of many politicians in the punch line... I am including it here because it is always amusing - no matter which politician is targeted - and because someone took the trouble to translate it from the Judeo-Christian 'God' or 'Jesus' to the more Malaysian 'Lord Siva'.
The reference to Mr. Samy Vellu is a non-sequitur since everyone of course knows that Mr. Samy Vellu is an honest and upright man who practices transparency in politics and ensures the development and promotion of young and aspiring persons to positions of responsibility in the Government.)
Walking through the gates, the man noticed clocks everywhere!!
There were grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and table clocks in every corner.
It appeared that heaven was nothing more than a giant warehouse of clocks.
Surprised at how heaven looked, the man asked,
"My Lord Siva, what's the deal? Why are all these clocks here in heaven?"
The Lord Siva replied,
"The clocks keep track of things on earth. There is one clock for each person. Every time the person on earth tells a lie, his clock moves one minute. For instance, this clock is for Aru, the used car salesman. If you watch it closely, it will move."
"Click" The minute hand on Aru's clock moved one minute. "Click" It moved another minute.
"Aru must be closing a deal with a customer right now." said The Lord Siva. "The minute hand on his clock moves all day."
The man and The Lord Siva continued walking. Soon, they came to a clock with cobwebs on the minute hand.
"Whose clock is this?" asked the man.
"That clock belongs to the Widow Achi. She is one of the finest, God-fearing, people on earth. Her clock hasn't moved in years." said The Lord Siva.
They continued walking and touring heaven. The man enjoyed watching the clocks of all his friends. When the tour was finished, the man said,
"I've seen everyone's clock but Mr. Samy Vellu's. Where is his clock?"
The Lord Siva smiled, "Just look up. We use his clock as a ceiling fan."
(This is an old joke, and has been used with the names of many politicians in the punch line... I am including it here because it is always amusing - no matter which politician is targeted - and because someone took the trouble to translate it from the Judeo-Christian 'God' or 'Jesus' to the more Malaysian 'Lord Siva'.
The reference to Mr. Samy Vellu is a non-sequitur since everyone of course knows that Mr. Samy Vellu is an honest and upright man who practices transparency in politics and ensures the development and promotion of young and aspiring persons to positions of responsibility in the Government.)
Work Life Balance
The guy sitting next to me has been agonising about whether to skip the weekly 'Project updates' tomorrow, because it's his daughters' birthday. You may know the type of meeting - it involves people in the UK and US, and it starts at 10pm.
He thinks he should not need to, since his project is not even on the agenda. Surprisingly, his wife, who knows he has attended this meeting in the past, thinks he should attend.
You know what they say - "Behind every successful man you will find a pushy woman."
Mercifully, in his 'in-box' today, there was a note from his manager saying all those with no items on the agenda need not attend. So go ahead Tom, take the family out for dinner. IPOH CHICKEN RICE anyone?
He thinks he should not need to, since his project is not even on the agenda. Surprisingly, his wife, who knows he has attended this meeting in the past, thinks he should attend.
You know what they say - "Behind every successful man you will find a pushy woman."
Mercifully, in his 'in-box' today, there was a note from his manager saying all those with no items on the agenda need not attend. So go ahead Tom, take the family out for dinner. IPOH CHICKEN RICE anyone?
Friday 15 June 2007
Word of the Day
bourgeoisie [(boor-zhwah-zee)]
In general, the middle class. Applied to the Middle Ages, it refers to townspeople, who were neither nobles nor peasants. In Marxism it refers to those who control the means of production and do not live directly by the sale of their labor. Karl Marx distinguished between the “haute” (high) bourgeoisie (industrialists and financiers) and the “petite” (small or “petty”) bourgeoisie (shopkeepers, self-employed artisans, lawyers). Marxism postulates a fundamental conflict between the interests of the bourgeoisie and those of the propertyless workers, the proletariat.
Example:
“Following the serving of her prison sentence, Paris Hilton experienced an epiphany and changed her life, eventually converting the New York Hilton hotel into a convent, establishing her own order of nuns and becoming recognized as the patron saint of the bourgeoisie.”
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