The Heavenly Clocks

An Indian man died and went to heaven. When he arrived at Heaven's Gate, The Lord Siva said, "Come on in. I'll show you around. You'll like it here."

Walking through the gates, the man noticed clocks everywhere!!
There were grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and table clocks in every corner.

It appeared that heaven was nothing more than a giant warehouse of clocks.

Surprised at how heaven looked, the man asked,
"My Lord Siva, what's the deal? Why are all these clocks here in heaven?"

The Lord Siva replied,
"The clocks keep track of things on earth. There is one clock for each person. Every time the person on earth tells a lie, his clock moves one minute. For instance, this clock is for Aru, the used car salesman. If you watch it closely, it will move."

"Click" The minute hand on Aru's clock moved one minute. "Click" It moved another minute.

"Aru must be closing a deal with a customer right now." said The Lord Siva. "The minute hand on his clock moves all day."

The man and The Lord Siva continued walking. Soon, they came to a clock with cobwebs on the minute hand.
"Whose clock is this?" asked the man.
"That clock belongs to the Widow Achi. She is one of the finest, God-fearing, people on earth. Her clock hasn't moved in years." said The Lord Siva.

They continued walking and touring heaven. The man enjoyed watching the clocks of all his friends. When the tour was finished, the man said,
"I've seen everyone's clock but Mr. Samy Vellu's. Where is his clock?"

The Lord Siva smiled, "Just look up. We use his clock as a ceiling fan."

(This is an old joke, and has been used with the names of many politicians in the punch line... I am including it here because it is always amusing - no matter which politician is targeted - and because someone took the trouble to translate it from the Judeo-Christian 'God' or 'Jesus' to the more Malaysian 'Lord Siva'.
The reference to Mr. Samy Vellu is a non-sequitur since everyone of course knows that Mr. Samy Vellu is an honest and upright man who practices transparency in politics and ensures the development and promotion of young and aspiring persons to positions of responsibility in the Government.)