Like everyone else, I get my share of friendly spam. I define "friendly spam" as the forwarded email that friends send to you just to show they're thinking of you, but dont necessarily have anything important to say.
Or, "friendly spam"can be something your friend thinks is important (poisonous spiders hiding in the toilets of Setapak, Perfume samples with knockout gas, alleged words of wisdom from the Dalai Lama - you know, that kind of thing) but you may not believe yourself.
Or, it can be a joke or a list of jokes your friend thinks is funny and wants to share with you (I must have received a dozen or more sets about marriage alone over the years).
Anyway, its not often you get one that's indecent and innocent at the same time. I got such a one today, and to celebrate the occasion, I post it here:
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married.
She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.
She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it.
The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
'Miss Beatrice' he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?' pointing to the bowl.
'Oh yes' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful?' I was walking in through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter'
Brilliant - that's all I can say.
Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts
Monday, 14 September 2009
Friday, 17 October 2008
A letter from Australia
This one is hilarious.
Hey - looks like lately I have been posting more of other peoples words than my own. Well, it's just that I am finding it harder to articulate.... writer's block I guess. So I compensate for my constipation of ideas with a diarrhea of trivia.
ANYWAY - here is a joke from a friend in Australia. hmmmm... yes, in Oct they would be moving from Spring into Summer.. so here is the letter from Joe:
Spring is now coming close to 2 months already and soon summer will be here...
You can see alot of those who are staying around my place having BBQs....of course in their balconies...like i said b4...there are only apartments in my area.....
there are some rules that we need to follow over here.....
B B Q RULES
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces,
and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat .
Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
Australia has been more or less the 'favourite' migration route for Malaysians fleeing the subtle racial and religious persecution back home. But as Erma Bombeck said; "The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank", and Joe has also sent back not-so-funny emails about the social ills of Aussie land. I don't want to go into an Aussie-bashing mode however - I think its just fair to say that every country has its own skeletons in the closet, so why not just fight the one you have back home, instead of going to look at someone elses......
Gdday mate.!
Hey - looks like lately I have been posting more of other peoples words than my own. Well, it's just that I am finding it harder to articulate.... writer's block I guess. So I compensate for my constipation of ideas with a diarrhea of trivia.
ANYWAY - here is a joke from a friend in Australia. hmmmm... yes, in Oct they would be moving from Spring into Summer.. so here is the letter from Joe:
Spring is now coming close to 2 months already and soon summer will be here...
You can see alot of those who are staying around my place having BBQs....of course in their balconies...like i said b4...there are only apartments in my area.....
there are some rules that we need to follow over here.....
B B Q RULES
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces,
and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat .
Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
Australia has been more or less the 'favourite' migration route for Malaysians fleeing the subtle racial and religious persecution back home. But as Erma Bombeck said; "The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank", and Joe has also sent back not-so-funny emails about the social ills of Aussie land. I don't want to go into an Aussie-bashing mode however - I think its just fair to say that every country has its own skeletons in the closet, so why not just fight the one you have back home, instead of going to look at someone elses......
Gdday mate.!
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