Heart Attack alert?

Jacie – do you have a younger sister around 25 y.o.? Did she just get a job in Kinta Dredging?

We got a new employee today – I think this is her 1^st day, and she is dressed to impress her new colleagues I think.

Fitting black dress (like the ones you wear lah)… but I think I have t-shirts longer than this dress of hers – it only goes down below the hips, and stops there…. And because she is tall, she has to have these loooong legs all the way to the floor.
Quite a pretty face, I think, though I can’t be absolutely sure – its hard to focus on the face when the neckline is so wide and low….

I think I may have to quit KD just to avoid getting a heart attack….. Maybe you have to give me a lecture again about how there’s nothing wrong about a girl dressing up just to make herself feel good.

Regards and Palpitations,
Short, fat, and ugly.

Why would I support PAS?

In my younger days, PAS was portrayed as a demonic political party which would cut off the hands of a thief and hang me as an unbeliever.

But how much of that picture was real (and I know some of it was) and how much was the embellishment of the BN controlled media (like the NST and the Star)?

But here in this article, we see a PAS that has started to take a moderate road - the kind of road a political party takes when it needs co-operation from others, and does not hold a 2/3 majority.

Read: The Political Maturing of PAS: Recognition of the Need for Inclusion of Non-Muslims and Non-Malays

So PAS is opening its mind across religious and racial lines. I would much rather support someone attempting to have an open mind, than someone who makes veiled (quite thinly veiled) threats of racial segregation and discrimination as in the NST today. NST even had a picture ("No Representation, No Voice" it said), but this only tells me what BN would do to "punish" the rakyat if it (BN) does not win its 2/3 majority. I will never support bullies.

5% penetration

No, K.Alvin, not that kind of penetration.

I am talking about the statistic I heard about some weeks back - that the internet access is available to only 5% of the Malaysian Population - hence the 5% penetration phrase.

Being a frequent user myself, its easy to imagine that all the information available online is read by many people, and that the majority of Malaysians can see through the vapid, ingratiating support the the New Straits Times and the STAR (how the mighty have fallen) give to Barisan National. Even though I do NOT support any particular political party, the blatant unfairness of 'news reporting' in the papers convinces me that I am being lied to, and the non-BN parties are being suppressed.

Let us make this crystal clear. Since the dissolution of Parliament, Malaysia has NO Government, and hence NO opposition. (ok - there's a caretaker government. But that's not an elected government with a mandate to rule) What we have are different political parties whom all want to be given the mandate to form the next Government. So BN usage of MY tax money for their campaigning is illegal - it's stealing from me. And you. Read this article about just one case, and this one about Ijok (especially the last 4 lines).

But sadly, even if all the Malaysians accessing the internet vote against BN, thats just 5% penetration. And as Ijok has shown us, bribery (via the building of infrastructure that should have been there anyway) works. So make every vote count - dont for a moment doubt that for the good of all Malaysians, you must NOT vote BN.

Malaysia Votes 2008: a perspective

Having followed "America votes 2008" on CNN for the past couple of months, I have a few things to say about the way we do it in Malaysia;

An election is an important step in the progress of a country. As such, it should be approached with deliberate and considered steps, and all parties involved must have fair chance to decide on who best represents the peoples needs. Malaysia treats the election as a 'hide-and-seek' game, with the government deciding in secret, and letting the country know only on the day Parliament is dissolved. US elections are scheduled for NOV 2008, and the process of selection of candidates began in late 2007.

No man can have absolute discretion - even George Bush, as the US President, though he may give the executive order to attack Iraq, finally must answer to the electorate for the rightness or wrongness of his decisions. I find it galling that in Malaysia, an ex-Prime Minister (Dr. Mahatir) can say he chooses judges at his absolute discretion ('the decision is mine' he said). His description of getting 'input' from other people showed no trace of intending to give their opinion due consideration. We have put our PM on such a pedestal, he effectively has more power then DYMM the King. Witness the case of Chua Soi Lek and other politicians getting caught with their pants down, or palaces built in low-cost housing areas; their song always refrains with "I will let the PM decide my future", showing that among politicians at least, if not among the rakyat, it is the PM, and not the DYMM who may grant pardon or may dispose.

The politics of RACE were used by the colonialists to divide and conquer. (read an excellent writeup about it here). To be relevant and progressive, and to compete with the countries around us, we must be UNITED. And yet, Malaysian politics is dominated by the National Front (BN), which pretends to be a united front but in reality is a collection of racially aligned groups dancing to the tune of the biggest bully among them - UMNO. This can be seen by the way no BN MP is allowed to vote contrary to BN proposals according to conscience. Racial Riots of May 13th 1969 are also frequently invoked by UMNO as a threat to anyone daring to question its ascendancy. Refer to:
Kris Dilemma or Phobia?
and
May 13 nightmare still haunting us

The politics of manipulating racial prejudice and demonising other races because they appear more successful, or belittling those who are mainly laborers must end in this country. The only way I see it, is to dissolve all racially based political parties, leaving only the non-BN, so-called "opposition" parties. I have no illusions of this happening in my lifetime, but one can always hope.

On CNN, commentators can talk rationally about the 'Hispanic vote' and the 'Black vote' and how the prospective candidates need to address the concerns of each community in order to get their support. Oh, I dont for a moment believe it is always so rational and civilised a conversation, but at least the American system allows for this discussion among rational parties to take place. Here, we have:
Police Warn Against Race Baiting in 2008 General Election (Like That’s Gonna Stop UMNO)

Enough for now. Its late in more ways than one, and I need a break. I will write more thoughts later if I am able.

T r u e C r y p t

Data Privacy - this is important because you don't want your personal data readable by anyone who may;

1. Use your PC while you are making coffee in the pantry
2. Hack into your system though your home streamyx connection
3. Scan your system as part of a corporate audit
4. Dismantle your laptop and plug the hard-disk into his PC after snatching it from you along Bkt Bintang because you were walking and keying in an SMS instead of paying attention to where you were going.
5. Or, Like Edison Chen found out, just make a copy of your hard drive when you send your PC in for repair.
   

Personal data can be as varied as as the people who create it... it can be:
1. Lists of credit card numbers
2. Bank account numbers.
3. ATM PIN numbers
4. avi files of your latest romp in a JB Hotel with a close friend.
5. Pictures of all the girls you s@@@@ed who thought you look like Edison Chen

I have found this utility that is fast becoming my favorite for storing all my personal data. Best thing is - its free.
Free open-source disk encryption software for Windows Vista/XP/2000 and Linux
Go here for more information on TrueCrypt: http://www.truecrypt.org/
There is an informative introduction to TrueCrypt here.

How I use it: I create a 640MB encrypted space, and store my information there. This is small enough to allow me to backup the space to a CD-RW, and move it to other PC's if required. Yes, a CD can have 650 or 700MB of space, but I believe in safety buffers.
When I get a DVD burner, I will create 4.6GB spaces for storing data. Cool.

A not for the dinosaurs out there - TruCrypt does not work on Win98.

Only in I.T.

Only in an IT organisation would you find people who could put the following in a document and expect other people to read it with a straight face:

THE JCL CREATES THE PDB LIBRARY, AND THEN INVOKES A NUMBER OF
ANAL.... MEMBERS.

At the very least, I suppose we can look on the bright side and say that even IT geeks are not spared from working with anal co-workers. But Dilbert already taught us that...

Lunch Out

Aah... hot Pan Meen.

I went out for lunch at a food court today, a break from the usual tomato-and-cheese-on-wholemeal sandwitch.
(what - you have not tried one of those before? get outta here man - you dont know what you are missing !! I will post the recipe later!)

I met up with Khyun, hoping to rehash old times and regrind old axes. Unfortunately, he is too professional (a rare trait in a Malaysian - most can only master the anal part of "professional") to speak badly of his employer to an outsider.... so part of the conversation at least, was stillborn.
Oh hum.... 2000 people in the organisation, and I have to befriend one of the professionals.

Anyway, his tongue may be tied, but his powers of observation are not abated. Khyun wondered why the cooks and service people in the food court all wore surgical masks under their chins!! We could think of a few possibilities:

1. the surgical masks on the chin are an innovative way to prevent drool from falling into the food.
2. its hot around the stoves and ovens, and sweat (read "perspiration" for the cultured) trickles down your face. The surgical mask will redirect it down your neck and into your shirt, instead of it dripping off the tip of your chin, and into the food.

Now that I think about it, both are the same basic reason - the surgical mask is now a "chin guard" of a sort. Anyway, seeing that such care is taken with food preparation, we could not but eat our Pan Meen with peace of mind.

LCD TV

Overheard in a shopping mall:

"Dear, shall we get one of those?" he says, pointing to a humongous 50-inch LCD TV on Special Discount.

"Yeah, right. And we will have to sit in the Tan's front porch across the road to watch CSI." Said the wife. "Why dont we get this one?" She said, pointing to a 26-incher.

He pouted like an M.P. forced to apologise for making a sexist remark [1] [2] in Parliament: "If we wanted something that size, we might as well buy a regular TV" he said;
"You can't call it conspicuous consumption if it isn't conspicuous enough....."

For those who are interested, I found this LCD TV buying guide, and heres how to buy an LCD TV in 8 easy steps.

The Heavenly Clocks

An Indian man died and went to heaven. When he arrived at Heaven's Gate, The Lord Siva said, "Come on in. I'll show you around. You'll like it here."

Walking through the gates, the man noticed clocks everywhere!!
There were grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and table clocks in every corner.

It appeared that heaven was nothing more than a giant warehouse of clocks.

Surprised at how heaven looked, the man asked,
"My Lord Siva, what's the deal? Why are all these clocks here in heaven?"

The Lord Siva replied,
"The clocks keep track of things on earth. There is one clock for each person. Every time the person on earth tells a lie, his clock moves one minute. For instance, this clock is for Aru, the used car salesman. If you watch it closely, it will move."

"Click" The minute hand on Aru's clock moved one minute. "Click" It moved another minute.

"Aru must be closing a deal with a customer right now." said The Lord Siva. "The minute hand on his clock moves all day."

The man and The Lord Siva continued walking. Soon, they came to a clock with cobwebs on the minute hand.
"Whose clock is this?" asked the man.
"That clock belongs to the Widow Achi. She is one of the finest, God-fearing, people on earth. Her clock hasn't moved in years." said The Lord Siva.

They continued walking and touring heaven. The man enjoyed watching the clocks of all his friends. When the tour was finished, the man said,
"I've seen everyone's clock but Mr. Samy Vellu's. Where is his clock?"

The Lord Siva smiled, "Just look up. We use his clock as a ceiling fan."

(This is an old joke, and has been used with the names of many politicians in the punch line... I am including it here because it is always amusing - no matter which politician is targeted - and because someone took the trouble to translate it from the Judeo-Christian 'God' or 'Jesus' to the more Malaysian 'Lord Siva'.
The reference to Mr. Samy Vellu is a non-sequitur since everyone of course knows that Mr. Samy Vellu is an honest and upright man who practices transparency in politics and ensures the development and promotion of young and aspiring persons to positions of responsibility in the Government.)

Work Life Balance

The guy sitting next to me has been agonising about whether to skip the weekly 'Project updates' tomorrow, because it's his daughters' birthday. You may know the type of meeting - it involves people in the UK and US, and it starts at 10pm.

He thinks he should not need to, since his project is not even on the agenda. Surprisingly, his wife, who knows he has attended this meeting in the past, thinks he should attend.
You know what they say - "Behind every successful man you will find a pushy woman."

Mercifully, in his 'in-box' today, there was a note from his manager saying all those with no items on the agenda need not attend. So go ahead Tom, take the family out for dinner. IPOH CHICKEN RICE anyone?

Word of the Day

bourgeoisie [(boor-zhwah-zee)]

In general, the middle class. Applied to the Middle Ages, it refers to townspeople, who were neither nobles nor peasants. In Marxism it refers to those who control the means of production and do not live directly by the sale of their labor. Karl Marx distinguished between the “haute” (high) bourgeoisie (industrialists and financiers) and the “petite” (small or “petty”) bourgeoisie (shopkeepers, self-employed artisans, lawyers). Marxism postulates a fundamental conflict between the interests of the bourgeoisie and those of the propertyless workers, the proletariat.

Example:

“Following the serving of her prison sentence, Paris Hilton experienced an epiphany and changed her life, eventually converting the New York Hilton hotel into a convent, establishing her own order of nuns and becoming recognized as the patron saint of the bourgeoisie.”

(exerpt from “The Bourgeois Boudoir” – a biography of Paris Hilton by Abbess Britney Spears)

Lite n’ Easy – Miss Moneybags.

I was listening to Lite n’ Easy in the cab this morning (101.5 FM in Ipoh, 105.7 FM in the Klang Valley) and they were talking about an email from “Miss Moneybags”.

Miss Moneybags is dating a guy who is “fun, sensitive, and interesting”, but who earns less than her. Their dates tend to be in budget locations, to accommodate his budget, but she is fine with this. Her only problem is that she has tried to pay for their meals a few times, but he has refused to let her do so. She asked Simon and Caroline “at what point does it become OK for the woman to start sharing the cost of the dates”.

I did not have a phone to call in then, so I will just blog my response. I had two issues with this question.

The first was not with the woman or her boyfriend, but with the people whom I heard giving advice before I got out of the cab:
People gave advice in a tone that said “You should share the cost, and not expect to get things paid for for you.” The advice totally missed the issue, which is that the guy does not want Miss Moneybags to pay, and prevents her from doing so. The thinking behind the advice seemed to be that Miss Moneybags was in need of advice and ‘correction’. No, Miss Moneybags is perfectly correct. It is the boyfriend that needs correction.

I think in this day and age, a man who thinks that he must provide everything for his woman and that she will expect him to do so needs his head examined for delusional behavior, and living in a twilight zone with values from 15 years ago.

Woman today can be as assertive and independent as any man. She knows her abilities, and how to use them in her environment. What she needs from her man is not a patronizing, paternalistic attitude, but a partnership. Woman is ready to move (in Miss Moneybags’ case, has already moved) out of the shadow of man and contribute her own perspective to the world. Man now needs to be able to move away from the “me and my woman” mentality.

The attitude of “me and my woman” is not only insulting to woman, but diminishes the worth of man too. It insults woman because the attitude implies that the woman is an extension of the man, or part of, the man’s property. It diminishes man because by treating woman as a vassal or as property, man immediately creates a barrier – the ‘owner’ and the ‘owned’ can never communicate as freely as two equals.

So, I would suggest that Miss Moneybags tread carefully, and find out more about her boyfriends’ perspectives;
Does he expect, perhaps, that she should depend on him for her income after marriage?
Or perhaps he believes she will give up her career to take care of home and children in the future?
Or maybe he does not mind her working, as long as the house is kept clean and dinner is on the table when he gets home?

One of the suggestions given by the callers on the show was “get a pre-nuptial agreement”. To me, this is like planning to fail. Unfortunately, and this is definitely a reflection of where our society is heading, failed marriages are becoming entirely too common. So even though it goes against the grain for me, I must admit that might be good advice.

All my best to Miss Moneybags, and I hope things work out well for her.

Not Leaving a job.

From an old friend, I got the following email:

Hi Cicak-Man,

I have just continued reading your 'beloved masterpiece'. ..blah.. ..blah.. ..blah.. Coffee-drinker has also made up his mind to leave ACME to venture into another company/place. I have been working closely with him for the past Y years!

So I refresh my memory by going thro' your 'Leaving A Job'. Wish I have the opportunity to do the same.
For the past XX years, I think I have at least 6 good and close friends who have left this dept and yet I am still here. Something must be very wrong with me, do u agree?

Hope to hear from you soon.

Warmest Regards,
She-Ra

My response to She-Ra is;

Hello She-Ra,

By no means should you think that there is something wrong with you. In fact, you are possibly closer to the “normal” behavior than the rest of us who have been hopping jobs. There are a lot of issues to be faced by someone moving jobs, and it is not an easy decision. So there is nothing wrong with a person choosing to be certain of their environment, rather than take a risk and venture into the unknown.

Many people will say – and I do too, to a certain extent, that we all have to get out of our ‘comfort zone’ and try something new, or, like in my blog, one should not stay in a place that makes one unhappy - - - but understand this; all these statements are general, sweeping comments, and by their nature can not apply to all people. Every person has to balance his or her own needs and ambitions against those of the family, spouse and children. (In typical unfair fashion, our patriarchal society expects the women to do this, but I believe this applies to men as well, and I do know men who follow this philosophy.) Wanting a better job sometimes needs to take a back seat to bringing up the children, or supporting a spouse who has a better paying, but also high stressed job, or taking care of elderly parents.

So who has a right to judge if you have been doing the right or wrong thing? No one, not even you. You have been making the best decisions you can, based on all that you know for XX years. Be happy with what has passed, and don’t make the mistake of looking back and asking “What if…?” That is perhaps the last trump card the devil will play, when he fails to destroy you though greed, lust, and pride. “What if…?” can sour decades of happy family life, waste a long and productive career, and empty a retirement fund that took a lifetime to save.

Look back, and savor the good things and good experiences you have had; looking out over 2 oceans from Table Mountain, shopping in Los Angeles, riding the Metro in Paris. Learn from the mistakes you have made along the way. Try something new today if you want to. But never regret.

Regards,
Cicak-Man

How To Shower Like a Man

(No, Sweetie, I didn't write this either. It came in the same mail as the "woman" one.)

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohican with your hair.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.

How To Shower Like a Woman

(No sweetie, I didn't write this - it was emailed to me)

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth.
Use long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Mr Muscle Bathrooms.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

More readers!!!

Well well well..!! It looks like "Vroom" has also started reading my blog. He called and asked about job opportunities, and sent me his resume....
(Yeah sure - like I can make decisions on anything more than which button on the coffee machine I am going to push. Still, one should help one's friends, so I passed his resume over to HR.)

Anyway - he had some good things to say about this blog, so THANK YOU "Vroom", and keep reading. Hope to keep you entertained.

This pushes my official readership number up 50% to a massive total of 3.
Assuming, of course, Kyun and Phillipi still check out these pages....
But wait. I just got a note from Jan saying he will read this too.
OOh la la !! 200% readership increase in the month of Jan 2007. Things are looking good.

Guess this means I have to get off my fat a** and actually start writing on a more regular basis.
Would be nice to get comments posted once in a while...

Where's my Breakfast?

"P" has gone on this health program, which consists of having muesli and low-fat milk for breakfast. He may have bak-kut-teh with us for lunch, but his breakfast will be a healthy bowl of cereal. I suppose he doesn't care if angles weep in the afternoon, as long as they sang in the morning when they saw him at breakfast.

I thought about it, and decided breakfast time was a good place in the schedule to start my own health program: a.k.a. "Loose some weight before none of my office pants fit around my jelly belly." I have been adding on the padding lately - actually, ever since NOV 2005 when mum passed away. No, I dont want to go into that now - back to the breakfast.

So over the weekend, I shopped for a couple or cartons of FULL CREAM MILK. Why not low fat you ask? Well, there was this health article I read once (sorry - no web references of the original article; it was hardcopy, and some time ago. But this might help.) that said the cream does not actually affect the body negatively, and the calcium is good for you.
Anyway - I got a couple of cartons - 2 litres total. Then I dug in my cupboard and unearthed those boxes of 'healthy cereal' that I bought months ago... (oops - 1 has expired. but only 1 month ago. OK, still edible by my standards.) What! you'd throw it away? check first man... its possible that it could still be good after the expiry date, just as its possible that it could have gone bad BEFORE the expiry date.
Anyway - I got the milk and the cereal, and loaded it into a duffle bag. A bright red one, so I would not miss it Monday morning. I put it at the front door, so that I would not miss it Monday morning.
Today (Monday, 04 Dec), I dressed, brushed my hair, combed my teeth, packed my office bag, and sailed out the door. 45 minutes later, leaving the car park and walking into the office, I remembered the red duffle bag.

Apple Ad's

Why dont they show these ad's in Malaysia?

These Apple ad's are so entertaining while maintaining an element of truth, it makes me wonder why we still use PC's.

Here's just one of the many in YOUTUBE.

Leaving a job

It is not an easy decision to leave a great company. And yet, people being people, there is no way anything could be perfect: even a great company will have areas that need improvement, or where things are simply not being done right. And so the question is;
“Would you stay in an environment that makes you unhappy, or would you go searching for a new environment in the hope that the future might be better than the past?”
That’s a tough question, and an important question, and like all important questions it has no simple, one-dimensional answer.

To me, it is a matter of degree. I have worked in 6 (six) different organizations in the last 20 years. My longest service: almost 9 years. My shortest service: 1 month. In all cases, the key motivating “push” that started me looking outside was that there was no satisfaction at the end of the day when I packed up to go home. But don’t get me wrong – we all have days when we go home disappointed. We all have bad days – that’s why Daniel Powter’s song rings so true in our ears.

But we pick up the pieces, find a resolution or work-around, and things start moving again.

Sometimes, though, there is no resolution, no work-around. People want to do things in a certain way, and no amount of psychology or rationalization or cajoling from your favorite manager can make you forget that in your heart of hearts, this is wrong. Now - to quit for ONE reason seems petty. But things can start to add up, like a mountain of small boulders that finally becomes too tiresome or too stressful to scale day after day.

And so, I found one day that I was exhausted, wanting to go home, but staying in the office till 10pm putting together information that I really thought someone else should have done if they had done their jobs end-to-end and not just piecemeal. That was the day I seriously decided I would accept the next reasonable offer I got (I had already declined one job offer).

So that’s how I started looking out. How I got my new job? Well, that’s another story.

Kill the blog!

Hello again.
My last update was 16Aug, and today is 13Oct.. almost 2 whole months, but it seems like 2 whole years. !!
There have been many changes in my life in just 2 months, but the big ones will have to wait till I have more time to formulate a coherent story.

For now, I only wish to mark the passing of a small yet somehow significant event:
I had another blog - "Absolute Rubbish" I called it, and in retrospect, I realise that my entries there were exactly that - absolute rubbish.
So it is now deleted - there are more important things to do than to dwell on absolute rubbish.